Dedicated to my family who supports me and the asexual and the overall LGBTQIA+ community  

“Don’t you know?” she said, leaning close to me until her mouth was a mere inch away from my ear. “I’m too hot to get burned.” Amanda moved back and winked at me.

Rule 1, never touch Amanda. I was failing significantly at that one. Rule 2, never be alone with Amanda. Once again, I was failing. Still, I followed rule 3, the catch-all rule if the first two were unsuccessful, and never initiated touch or alone time with Amanda.

Amanda studied the Barbie. “She looks like you, tall and curvy.” I smiled. “I guess she does.” “Very sexy,” Amanda joked.

“I’m single for many reasons, asexuality being one, another being because my exes would have never done this for-” she stopped herself like she had said too much and went silent

squeezing shampoo into tiny travel bottles,

We went to the car, and Amanda fell asleep in the passenger seat. I had difficulty focusing on the road because how cute she looked curled up in the seat distracted me. She didn’t have the right to be that adorable.

sending Amanda’s phone flying. My entire body felt frozen in place when the car got back into the lane. “Sorry!” I said my hands gripping the steering wheel like it held my entire life inside it. Amanda laughed. “It’s all right. That was kind of fun.” I shook my head still rattled by the near accident. “Then we have different ideas of fun.” Amanda paused. “I don’t think so. We both like romcoms and hiking. There's a lot of fun we agree on.” “I was making a joke,” I replied. “Oh,” Amanda said

Nope, five years of therapy later and I learned that yes, I am traumatized, but no, it has nothing to do with my sexuality.”

She laughed, “This is fun. You’re very responsive. Have you always blushed like that when I touch you? I never noticed until now. It’s cute.” “Amanda,” I said. “What are you doing?” “Having fun,” she said. “I’m going to flirt and touch you until you believe me.” “Believe what?” I asked, not fully prepared for the answer. “That I enjoy teasing you for a reason beyond cruelty.”

“I don’t mind if you watch,” she said slowly. “I know you like it.”

I realized this day would be the happiest and hardest day of my life. On the one hand, Amanda, my amazing Amanda, had just claimed me as her girlfriend. But, on the other hand, I now had to deal with my family.